Author Archives: abstractviews

I was rather disappointed with Battle Los Angeles.  I was expecting a lot more substance.  It has a distinct low budget feel.  You don’t learn to care for any of the characters.  In fact I ended up routing for the aliens by the end.  They used the old jerky camera technique to make it feel like you are thiere with them, or so I would assume.  But unlike other movies that did this due to a character in the movie itself was supposed to be carrying the camera, in this one that is not the case.  So why the jerky camera throughout this crappy movie?  No reason, just in hopes of making it better I guess.

In general this is a rip-off of another low budget Sci-Fi alien attacks movie called Skyline (2010).  That movie was much better than I was expecting, and it actually works.  If you want to see a decent low budget alien attack movie, watch Skyline, and forget this waste of time.

4/10 (is being kind)

Not too much to say about this flick.  It’s a decent watch of a very typical and general style hit man scenario.  Holds your attention, has some action that keeps you watching.  Nothing overly memorable about this entire movie, just a good time killer for action fans.  And you’ll have forgotten you saw it 3 days later.  Maybe even the next day.

I watched the 2D version of this 3D yawner.  So I can’t speak to the quality of the 3D.  I can tell you that there are many events that cause items to be flung directly at the screen.  It makes you feel like you are watching the 2D version of any 1950’s or 1960’s 3D movie, where it’s all about making excuses to use a 3D effect.

Much like my review of The Mechanic, this is an okay action movie, nothing you will able to, or care to remember the next day.  An okay time waster for action movie fans, but what is this movie about?  I’m not 100% sure, but I think it’s a father’s sould that escaped from hell to avenge his daughter’s death.  That’s the impression we are left with at the end, but in the mean time it’s unclear at first if we are supposed to be in some other reality, in the appocolipse times in the future, or something else.  It’s a bit into the movie till we can judge.

Nicolas Cage plays the same character he plays in ever role he’s ever done; a sad angry monotone voiced guy looking for revenge.  He plays it well, just nothing new here.

5/10

It’s your typical Jennifer Aniston movie; kinda cute, kinda funny, an okay watch, nothing fantastic, slightly emotional at times, yadda, yadda.

A very pretty single woman wants a child but can’t find the right man.  Ya that happens all the time.  Pretty single women are always having trouble finding men to make them a baby, especially in NYC.  Happens all the time.  So far it’s totally believeable.  So she picks a really weird and ackward guy to be the doner.  Again, totally believeable, she can’t find a guy to marry, so she settles for a semi-cute married weirdo’s baby seed.  Then her best friend substitutes his sperm for the doner’s while drunk.  Cause all women looking to do themselves with a turkey baster leave cold sperm on the edge of their bathroom sink during a party.  He’s so drunk he can’t remember doing it.  Again, happens all the time, a guy is so drunk he forgets what he does, but has no problem staying awake long enough to jerk off into a pill bottle and carefully put it back so no one notices.

Wow this sounds a lot lamer than when I watched it.  So believe it or not, they actually managed to make this incredibly bad sounding movie actually watchable and reasonably tolerable.  Hard to believe!

6/10

It’s pretty good.  Has a bit of a low budget feel to it, but well done considering.  Typical alien movie, guy from another planet, finds out he’s being chased by the space baddies, he learns to use his super powers at the last minute and kicks ass in the end.  He’s cute, falls for some random chic, they gotz ta be together no matter what, against all odds, etc, etc. 

Can’t go wrong with that sci-fi formula, now can you?

8/10

The Tourist is a light hearted spy action movie, with a weak plot and mediocre action scenes.  Overall it’s a well made commercial movie.  But the only thing that carries it through is the charisma of Jolie and Depp, as well the European scenery.  It’s reasonably entertaining, but you’re left thinking you expected better.

7/10

It has romance, comedy and even some drama.  This is a storey about love, learning and life, and two people discovering these things together.

Some people will feel this movie more than others.  The rest of you will simply find it entertaining.

9/10

Dwayne plays an ex-con getting revenge against other criminals that killed his brother.  There’s also a hot but slightly mentally disturbed hitman involved in this plot.

That’s the whole movie.  Not in a nutshell, that’s as deep as it gets.  It’s blah.  Has some okay action.  But it’s dull, even though it’s somewhat graphic and violent, but overall it’s simply blah.

5/10