Yet another iteration of the Twilight Saga, magical realm of the vampire/werewolf three somes.
Hard to believe that this episode actually has a significantly weaker plot and script than the previous ones. The writing is on the same level as a grade 8 girl’s free form essay. While I’m watching the movie, I imagined a junior high teacher telling her students, “Your assignment for today is to write about anything you like. And it has to be about your happy place. The place you imagine when you feel sad.” And a Twilight Saga script is born!
The final fight scene violence is seriously over the top, considering the audience this movie is intended for. There be decapitations a plenty! Imagine a sick twisted little girl in a toy store, ripping the heads off every doll in sight. And you then have a Twilight rumble. And just like headless dolls, apparently headless vampires don’t spray blood everywhere, which must make the mock extreme violence okay with the ratings people. Either that, or the cash that’s pushed under their doors at night.
In the earlier movies, didn’t the vampires sparkle in direct sunlight? Ya they did. Not any more. Now they look human and older than before. But now they all have blood red eyes instead, and have to wear contacts to hide the fact.
But fear not, we have multiple happy endings, just in case you don’t feel fulfilled with the typical happy movie ending. We have several levels of ending goodness, followed by more than 10 minutes of happy songs during endless credits. They seem to want no complaints that the ending isn’t satisfactory.
Why do I watch the Twilights? I’m a sucker for vampire and werewolf movies. And I can’t help analyzing the sceptical of how successful these movies have been, when they are so incredibly bad. It’s the Justin Bieber phenomenon.
