Yearly Archives: 2012

Google Street View Car

I happened to notice a Google Street View camera car in Winnipeg today. No surprise since the city has had Street View of the streets for several years now, but it’s the first time I’ve seen one of the cars driving around.

The camera unit seemed to be covered in a close fitting vinyl condom.

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Really bad picture out the front window with phone camera.

The Avengers (2012)

The Avengers the movie, is a mishmash grouping of Marvel super-heroes.

It’s disappointingly busy. Busy in the sense that we have far too many “heroes” being focused on. So many that the character building can’t occur properly, even in the 2 1/2 hours of screen time. Add to that disappointment, they turned Ironman into a complete ass-hole. In the original Ironman movie, he was a somewhat complicated character that hid behind the appearance of being a head strong smart ass. In The Avengers, that all he is, an endless tirade of annoying smart ass one-liners that causes you simply to hate the character. This Ironman character brings the movie down by at least 2 points.

The action is fine, the movie is well done in general, but between the characters being stretched too thin and Ironman being a thorn in the viewers side, I was hoping for better.

7/10 is doing the story a favour.

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Geek Charming (2011)

A spoiled rich girl decides to do a geek a favour and give him a make-over so he can get a girl, only to fall for him herself.

Yawn…old story. Yawn…poorly implemented. Yawn..simply boring. Professionally made, but too cute, perfect and overly lame.

4/10

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Beastly (2011)

A vain self absorbed rich high school student (Alex Pettyfer) is turned into an ugly duckling by a teenage witch (played badly by Mary-Kate Olsen.)

A good basic plot, with juvenile writing that tries too hard to be trendy, and a story that moves along far to quickly in an attempt to get the whole thing into 80’some minutes.

Alex Pettyfer’s British accent comes out numerous times in the first part of the movie, which he seems to get a grip on later in production.

The intent of the curse was to make Kyle ugly, yet that isn’t what happened. They obviously thought it would not be appreciated by young people if they actually made him unattractive. So instead he looks like a good looking guy that has intentionally self mutilated himself with odd piercing, custom tattoos, artistic cuts and shaving his head. The only ugly makeup they put on him was a couple of blisters by his nose.

This should have been a far better movie. It comes across as an after-school special with the only interest in conveying a moral learning experience to teens with a short attention span.

6/10

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The Raven (2012)

A factionary account of the disturbing last days of Edgar Allan Poe’s life.

John Cusack plays Poe very well. I enjoy John Cusack in most roles he plays.

To say to much about this film would be to spoil it. If you are a fan of Edgar Allan Poe, John Cusack, and/or aggressive and suspenseful period pieces, then you should like this story. It’s a thinkers movie, and you have to pay attention to get everything out of it that you need to.

“All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.”
Edgar Allan Poe

8/10

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Starship Troopers – Invasion (2012)

I’m not even sure if this is considered the fourth Starship Troopers movie, or just one of the many additional videos in the franchise. I can tell you this one is adult style animated, with nudity and swearing, so not a kids film.

It has a distinct first person shooter video game theme and feel. The first few minutes are mainly rapid fire shooting and high pitched alien bug screams, that drove our pet parrot into a crazy frenzy, and flew around the room screaming much like the dying bug monsters. I had to wonder if the origin of the bug squeals are angry birds.

It’s not a bad movie, relatively entertaining, but most likely only to fans of Starship Troopers.

One annoying thing in this story is how most of the male characters all look alike, and sound alike. It was hard for me to tell most soldiers apart. They all seem to have short spiky dark hair and similar muscular builds. You have to watch for scares and tattoos more than faces, cause these white people all look a like to me.

The few female characters look different, but also all sound the same. And they are shown naked as least as much as they are shown clothed, if that does anything for you. Full frontal nudity for the animated women, but not the men. No equal rights here.

5/10

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Battleship (2012)

Battleship, supposedly based on the board game according to the credits, is a mix of Transformers style hardware, Independence Day save the world movie plot, and US Navy recruitment commercial.

The “hero” is a life long half-wit screw-up, that is forced into the navy by his older brother, because he is such a loser and can’t be left alone. And this goof-ball ends up saving the world, but only due to everyone around him being insubordinate and constantly reminding him not to do stupid things.

This movie is shot with the same intent that a propaganda film is made during a war. It could be used as a US Navy recruitment commercial with few changes. In fact it is done so much so that it ruins the film, and keeps it from being enjoyable science fiction. This movie could have been so much better if they would have worried less about being so strangely patriotic, and more concerned about making a good Sci-Fi movie.

Why is it that that every alien race in Hollywood science fiction that comes to Earth lands in the US, and can be so easily defeated? Apparently if you have the ability and technology to travel endless light years to Earth, you also have endless flaws in your character and technology that allows Americans to kick your ass in a few days and wipe them out. This movie takes the win over superior alien race technology to a whole new level. To say more would be a spoiler.

6/10

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The Philadelphia Experiment (2012)

A made for TV movie based, intended as a sequel to a old movie of the same name, from 1984. The premise being that the US military lost a battleship in a secret experiment designed to make ships invisible to radar.

The original movie starred Michael Paré, a popular and active B-series actor, who was probably better known in the 80’s than today. I saw the original movie in 1984, and found it at the time quite enjoyable. He has a very small role in this sequel/remake as a different (and forgettable) character.

This also stars a well known character actor (Nicholas Lea) that played a double agent in the X-Files who ended up being the carrier for the black oil space creature. So fans of the X-Files will be quite familiar with him.

This movie is so low budget, the sherif in this thing wears blue jeans and has long curly hair, neither I would think would be acceptible for a sherif to get away with. I guessthey simply couldn’t afford the pants to match the fake police officer shirt. Sad!

The 2012 version of The Philadelphia Experiment is real really bad, low budget and poorly acted and written. It’s always sad when decent movies have poor remakes or sequels that falls short of the original, and only cloud the name and memory of movies we like.

4/10

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Lockout (2012)

Lockout is a futuristic action drama about a transcripted military guy in trouble with the law, and forced to rescue the president’s daughter. Sounds a lot like the plot for Escape from New York, doesn’t it?

Unfortunately Lockout is disappointing. Our would-be hero (played by Guy Pearce) is good looking and muscular, but has zero personality. The character is so flat we don’t really care if he lives or dies. The movie itself is well done, but the camera work leaves a lot to be desired. There are a lot of blurred panning and scenes where you wish the camera would zoom in or zoom back, it simply doesn’t feel right based on what we have come to expect in viewing a good movie. The special effects and scenery are all great, but the actors don’t bring this tale to life, and the just comes across poorly. This movie could have been a lot better.

6/10

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Hijacked (2012)

Hijacked is a really bad and seriously boring movie about this guy that tries to avert a cash-grab hijacking of a rich guys private jet. And the whole movie is played by poorly trained unattractive and unknown actors.

This movie is so bad and difficult to follow, you absolutely do not want to watch it! It has no redeeming qualities at all.

3/10

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