The Double is an under-whelming spy drama starring Richard Gere and Topher Grace (well known for his days on The 70’s Show.)
The best thing about this movie is that it is not 100% predictable, and that helps us deal with the slow monotonous plot. There really is nothing overly good or bad to tout about this show, other than it has the feel of a straight to cable movie.
5/10
Mars Needs Moms is a Disney movie about a young boy that saves his mom from Martian kidnappers.
Visually it has the look and feel of a Tron like world, with occasional scenery that reminds us of the underground of The Matrix.
Oh ya, it also has racist undertones, so in my opinion, not the best flic for your kids to watch if you care about this sort of thing.
How is it racist? The good guys are all average American white folk. The bad people are Martians, but the Martians are all Asians that look like Mutant Ninja Turtle bugs with Asian eyes and accents. The Asian Martian men are all stupid goofy characters, and the Asian Martian women are stereotypes, right down to the their voices in English not matching the mouth movements at times, like in old badly voiced over movies. And one other interesting fact is the Martians discover a lost ancient artifact with an image of them, and they look much more round eyed in their past when they were happy well adjusted normal families. And now they have stereotypical Asian eyes, since they are now evil kidnapping Amazonian Asian Martians.
I love racist humour and see nothing wrong with it when it’s done right, like with South Park for example. The racism in this movie is somewhat subtle, but I feel done in poor taste, and that’s based on a person that has no problem with raciest humour in proper context. I would be curious to see what a person sensitive to these things would say. Regardless, if this was intended to be a kids movie, shouldn’t it be less black and white to the kids than white people good, Asian people bad until they see the light and are modernized to white American family ways?
6/10
A silly predictable romantic comedy about a couple that falls in love after working together for years.
If you were to imagine Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler in a remake of The Brady Bunch Goes To Hawaii, you would be able picture this exact movie. If that turns your movie watching crank, then Just Go With It.
5/10
A poorly named off-beat comedy about two groups of bungling bank robbers, and a mysterious stranger that happens to be at the bank at the wrong time.
Patrick Dempsey plays the mysterious stranger. And Ashley Judd plays his love interest. At first watch this movie is quite appealing, but as it proceeds it becomes less so, till it’s incredibly annoying towards the end.
I felt our struggling story tellers were trying very hard to recapture the feel of a classic comedy by the name of Clue, based on the famous board game. Clue is a cult classic from 1985, and in my opinion one of the best comedies ever made. I’ve seen it many times, and know it well. And this sad piece of Flypaper has no hope in hell of coming close to giving us the same complex Clue shenanigans.
As for our stars, I’m not sure I’ve ever been impressed with Patrick Dempsey in any role, he is one of those actors that baffle me in his fame. Yet Ashley Judd seems to pull off most of her roles with grace.
As a whole, I was extra disappointed since the movie started off so well and promising.
5/10
Sometimes you simply have to turn your head, ignore the dying bird that just hit the window and walk away. This movie is the dying bird with the broken neck. Meaning it’s time to stop making these American Pie sequels.
It’s well made, and nothing wrong with the acting, camera work, production, etc. The story is simply tired and these actors are over the hill for a drunk teenager film, and it doesn’t work. They are trying to take advantage of this fact, the characters all grown up and too old for teenage parties and pranks. And they even point it out in the movie, and yet they do it anyway, like we don’t care. What we don’t care about is seeing another American Pie sequel. Yet I predict there will be another. Even sadder and more pathetic than this one.
This movie also has too much swearing. Not that swearing bothers me, but you know that friend you have, that always swears too much and at the wrong times, and it gets really annoying but you don’t want to say anything cause it will be awkward? Well that is the feeling you get from watching this movie.
5/10
This scene is where he slams his penis in his laptop, cause his kid walked in and saw him jerking off to porn. Then they show a close up of blood on his underwear, cause his cock is bleeding. All while his 4 year old watches. Yes, that’s the fabulous humour you get to see in this hilarious movie. The proud actor he must be.
A fun romantic comedy, where a computer geek falls for the head-hunter that drags him to NYC.
Completely predictable, yet fun, entertaining, with beautiful New York City background scenery. Yet there isn’t a lot of notable things to say about this movie. Justin Timberlake takes his shirt off a lot, and shows his ass. He’s not a great actor, just okay, so it’s always good when he takes his shirt off a lot. Oh ya, Mila Kunis is very pretty too. And she is a decent actor.
If you’re in the mood for a mindless fun romantic comedy, this is definitely doable.
7/10
Yesterday I’m heading out on some errands, and as I turn onto Morray, I hear a screaming little engine, I look left onto the bridge and some idiot on one of those mini-motorcycles is racing down the street, swerving back and forth across two of the three lanes like a child on a new bike. Not out of control, just being an ass. All the while there is traffic all around. So he passes me and he ends up at the Morray and Portage intersection, where I take this bad pic with my phone through my dirty windshield.
My first thoughts were, those can’t be legal on the road, and even if they were he’s driving like an idiot and is dangerous. Ya I know, I’m grown up and boring. Look at this guy, he’s easily 6’2″ on this tiny thing.
So he turns the corner onto Portage and immediately crosses 3 lanes cutting traffic off with this thing pinned. Just after this I hear a very loud POP. I figure he blew the motor. I look over and his back tire blew, and the back end of the “bike” is swinging back and forth all over the place, like what normally happens when a tire goes completely flat at speed. He manages to stay up and rolls to a stop in the parking lot at the bank on the corner.
Had this happened a minute earlier on the Morray bridge when I first saw him, where the speed limit is 80km/hr, while he was purposely weaving back and firth across lanes at this things top speed, he would have been a road smear and likely ran over. All with not even a helmet on.
Ahhh shucks! I was that close to nominating someone (with my own pics) for the Darwin Awards! Disappointing? I’m sure the idiot will kill himself another day. Let’s hope he doesn’t take one of us with him.
The sequel to the remake of Clash of the Titans. It basically sucks…whatever you personally say you don’t like to suck.
The Greek gods in this movie are either old or out of shape. Who wants to see a Greek god story where the gods don’t even look as good as the humans they are supposed to be controlling. And Sam Worthington (our hero Perseus) looks scrawnier and in poorer shape than he did in the last Titans movie. What’s that about?! For what they pay stars these days in big releases, I’m sure he could have hired a personal trainer to get him to bulk up a little for the part. And if not, the studio definitely should have. Isn’t that what actors do for a living, work to convince us they are the person in the role they play?
That isn’t the only thing wrong with this movie, it’s simply kind of blah, no heart, a completely predictable story line, and generally boring. You don’t care about any of the characters, good or bad. And the big bad villain is a giant molten non-descriptive creature that moves at the pace of the movie. You will sit there bored waiting for the this thing to move and do something mean, while the idiot humans wait to die in the process. Gees people, it’s literally supposed to be a moving mountain, you have time to get to the next city, don’t just stand there!
As far as the quality of CGI and quantity of action scenes, you won’t be disappointed. So it has that going for it, but that about it. Enjoy!
4/10
Straw Dogs is a modest thriller, where a city outsider isn’t accepted by the locals of a red-neck town in the deep south. His new wife brings him back to her home town, where she was “well liked” by the local boys. And he discovers she is not the person he thought she was.
The most interesting thing about this movie, is that they have pulled together quite a few noticeable and talented actors from popular TV series and movies. So at least we aren’t having to tolerate the usual lot of no-bodies as we generally do in your typical B style films.
The first half of the movie is annoyingly slow. There are holes in the storey here and there, that don’t help pull the whole thing together, and leaves you asking many questions. It could have been a far better movie by moving the first hour along and making it more interesting. I can only assume the writers thought they were building suspense. However, it is possible to build suspense without putting half your audience to sleep. But I’d guess they couldn’t afford that level of writing after spending their budget on good actors.
5/10
I don’t think anyone really needs a plot breakdown for a movie called Treasure Island.
This reincarnation is pathetic. I gave it a try mainly cause Donald Sutherland is listed in the credits, who most people would consider an excellent actor. But he has only a brief cameo in this turd of a film. It turns out this version is a British made for TV, two parter. It’s poorly acted, incredibly boring, not the least bit scenic, confusing, and the whole movie looks dirty like it’s been shot through a greasy lens or just slightly out of focus. Perhaps it was someone’s brilliant idea to make it seem rustic.
I’ve seen better films made by the CBC here in Canada, and that isn’t saying much. So in the realm of government sponsored history films made by the British Colonies, this one ranks up there with some of the worst. So it’s in good company.
Needless to say, do not press record, do not rent, do not download. If possible, press delete.
3/10
Note: The frame of the map was the most appealing image I could find to share from the movie.