Catch.44 (2011)

By | 2012-09-17

Just when you thought you saw a lot of bad movies, “Catch .44” comes along and ruins your movie watching time all over again.

It’s about 3 dumb ass loser women that get a kick out of hurting other people, and would rather work part time for a drug trafficker than work-for-a-living at dead-end jobs. But they apparently aren’t very good at doing either very well.

They try to make the plot seem complicated, but it’s simply confusing, and you soon don’t care. It’s bloody, gory and tedious. Bruce Willis has a rather small part, and he looks like a drowned rat that’s missing half it’s hair. His appearance is disturbing.

If you watch this movie, you will look like the character in the frame below. Shot, bloody, and being held up by a bar seat.



There is only one good thing about this movie, and that’s a joke that gets told near the beginning. And to save you the pain of having the watch this barf bait, I’ll re-tell it in my own words:

Four nuns are waiting to give confession. The first nun goes in to the confessional and tells the priest that she has sinned, she has looked at a man’s penis. The priest shows his disapproval and tells her to say 3 Hail Mary’s and splash holly water in her eyes from the church’s basin. The other three sisters watch as the nun splashes holly water in her face.

The next nun confesses her sins to the priest, and tells him that she has touched a man’s penis. The priest tells her to say 6 Hail Mary’s and go out and wash her hands in the holly water.

The priest hears a commotion outside his confessional and the next two nuns and quite agitated. One of them tells the other, “I don’t care what he says, “I’m not drinking that holly water after you sit in it!”

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